Using FAM to get pregnant
Many women start using the fertility awareness method (FAM) because they want to get pregnant in the next few years. It's a great way to check your overall health, and to learn when you're most fertile.
This page is for anyone who wants to get pregnant - both established users of the method and newbies.
Your age is probably the first thing on your mind. It is usually easier to get pregnant when you're younger but it might not be convenient and being over 35, or even over 40, might not be as big a deal as you think.
There's a reason that official childbearing years go up to 45. That said, Jean Twenge suggests you aim to complete your family by the time you're 40, which seems like sound advice to me.
If you want to get pregnant you should also:
This page is for anyone who wants to get pregnant - both established users of the method and newbies.
Your age is probably the first thing on your mind. It is usually easier to get pregnant when you're younger but it might not be convenient and being over 35, or even over 40, might not be as big a deal as you think.
There's a reason that official childbearing years go up to 45. That said, Jean Twenge suggests you aim to complete your family by the time you're 40, which seems like sound advice to me.
If you want to get pregnant you should also:
Have lots of sex
Too many folk think women can only get pregnant during ovulation - the one or two days when the egg or eggs (think twins) are released.
Women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days. And I suspect we're not just storing it, we're probably chucking out the duds and keeping the good stuff.
So you could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
So have lots of sex. You could even follow NICE Fertility guidance and "have vaginal sexual intercourse every two to three days".
Women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days. And I suspect we're not just storing it, we're probably chucking out the duds and keeping the good stuff.
So you could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
So have lots of sex. You could even follow NICE Fertility guidance and "have vaginal sexual intercourse every two to three days".
Notice your fluid
One of the main reasons women's bodies can store sperm for up to 7 days is cervical fluid. It also transports it to the egg/s when the time comes.
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower.
Storage fluid might not be that obvious, but transport fluid usually is - there's lots of it and it's clear and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
Transport fluid usually appears when you're ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so if you notice it get busy.
If you can't see any obvious fluid...
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower.
Storage fluid might not be that obvious, but transport fluid usually is - there's lots of it and it's clear and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
Transport fluid usually appears when you're ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so if you notice it get busy.
If you can't see any obvious fluid...
Use ovulation tests
The cheap ones are fine, they just have more complicated instructions and usually involve peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle. It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to practice those Kegels).
If ovulation tests don't work (they're not always reliable), you could:
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle. It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to practice those Kegels).
If ovulation tests don't work (they're not always reliable), you could:
Take your temperature
A standard fever thermometer is fine. It won't help you predict ovulation but it will help you know when it's been and gone, and give you an idea about when you usually ovulate.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation.
Aim to have sex every couple of days after your period ends and until you see a sustained temperature rise (see green days for more info).
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant, you can test after 14 higher temperatures.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation.
Aim to have sex every couple of days after your period ends and until you see a sustained temperature rise (see green days for more info).
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant, you can test after 14 higher temperatures.
If you are breastfeeding...
If you're breastfeeding, you might struggle to get pregnant. Prolactin, the breastfeeding hormone, lowers oestrogen which is the egg ripening and release hormone.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
How to improve your chances
You might do all this and still not get pregnant.
This can be alarming when we are told (endlessly) that sex without contraception means pregnancy, and it sometimes feels like “everyone” has fertility problems and the only solution is IVF.
Some people do need help from a fertility clinic, but for most of us fertility is more like a dimmer switch than an on/off switch.
And you might be able to turn that dial a little yourself, and make treatment more effective if you do end up at a clinic.
Improving your chances of pregnancy does not mean making yourselves miserable with unrealistic goals.
It does mean both of you looking after yourselves a little more.
You know the drill. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, and look after your mental health.
Both you and your partner could also get tested for sexually transmitted infections. These are a leading cause of fertility problems and not everyone gets symptoms. Getting treatment could improve your chances.
You could also read the wonderfully sympathetic and knowledgeable "Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Jean Twenge.
She suggests having a "12 month pregnancy". Both of you doing all the good, sensible stuff for three months before you start trying to get pregnant. Sound advice, there's more below:
This can be alarming when we are told (endlessly) that sex without contraception means pregnancy, and it sometimes feels like “everyone” has fertility problems and the only solution is IVF.
Some people do need help from a fertility clinic, but for most of us fertility is more like a dimmer switch than an on/off switch.
And you might be able to turn that dial a little yourself, and make treatment more effective if you do end up at a clinic.
Improving your chances of pregnancy does not mean making yourselves miserable with unrealistic goals.
It does mean both of you looking after yourselves a little more.
You know the drill. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, and look after your mental health.
Both you and your partner could also get tested for sexually transmitted infections. These are a leading cause of fertility problems and not everyone gets symptoms. Getting treatment could improve your chances.
You could also read the wonderfully sympathetic and knowledgeable "Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Jean Twenge.
She suggests having a "12 month pregnancy". Both of you doing all the good, sensible stuff for three months before you start trying to get pregnant. Sound advice, there's more below:
- NHS guide to planning a pregnancy – the essentials
- HFEA – for anyone considering fertility treatment, or egg freezing.
Want some support?
My support is mainly for those who want to avoid pregnancy. If you want support with getting pregnant, I suggest you contact either Jane Knight at the Zita West Clinic, or Kate Davies at Your Fertility Journey.