Using FAM to get pregnant
One of great things about using the fertility awareness method of contraception (FAM) is you know when you are fertile - or potentially fertile. It's easy to flip your knowledge and use it to help you get pregnant when you want.
You also have the reassurance of regular periods, a temperature shift, and fluid changes – all of which mean you are probably ovulating, and could probably get pregnant if you wanted to.
But what if you want to skip that part and just learn a few basics to help you get pregnant?
You could simply follow NICE Fertility guidance and have vaginal sexual intercourse every two to three days.
This is sound advice - it definitely helps to have lots of sex.
And it also helps to know when you are most likely to get pregnant - your fertile window - the week or so each month when you should aim to have sex every two to three days.
You also have the reassurance of regular periods, a temperature shift, and fluid changes – all of which mean you are probably ovulating, and could probably get pregnant if you wanted to.
But what if you want to skip that part and just learn a few basics to help you get pregnant?
You could simply follow NICE Fertility guidance and have vaginal sexual intercourse every two to three days.
This is sound advice - it definitely helps to have lots of sex.
And it also helps to know when you are most likely to get pregnant - your fertile window - the week or so each month when you should aim to have sex every two to three days.
Get an app
I do not recommend apps for contraception, except to help you gather data, but they can help you get pregnant - especially if you add a few days either side of their estimated fertile window.
Clue is a nice straightforward, and free, option - even though it is now owned by Bayer.
You only really need to record day one of your period. That means the first day of proper bleeding - enough to need a pad, tampon or menstrual cup.
Get that right and your app is more likely to get your fertile days right, provided your periods are in the average range - every 26 to 32 days.
If your cycles are longer or shorter than that you might want to record a bit more information.
Clue is a nice straightforward, and free, option - even though it is now owned by Bayer.
You only really need to record day one of your period. That means the first day of proper bleeding - enough to need a pad, tampon or menstrual cup.
Get that right and your app is more likely to get your fertile days right, provided your periods are in the average range - every 26 to 32 days.
If your cycles are longer or shorter than that you might want to record a bit more information.
Notice your fluid
Noticing your vaginal fluid might sound tricky but it's not a big deal for most women.
It just means knowing what to look out for. Have you ever noticed days when there's lots (and I mean lots) of fluid coming out of your vagina when you use the loo?
Is it clear, slippery and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white - and does it last for two or three days? This is transport fluid for sperm, it helps it reach your egg or eggs (think twins).
It usually appears when you are ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so this is a good time to have sex.
Make sure you have sex before the transport fluid appears. Your vagina can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation, and the more there is the better the chance of getting a good strong swimmer - your body will sift out the weak ones.
After ovulation, your body warms up (like an incubator) and there is much less fluid about. It has formed a plug in your cervix (the entrance to your womb) and no longer has any interest in storing or transporting sperm.
This is when you can have sex just for the fun of it, if you want to!
It just means knowing what to look out for. Have you ever noticed days when there's lots (and I mean lots) of fluid coming out of your vagina when you use the loo?
Is it clear, slippery and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white - and does it last for two or three days? This is transport fluid for sperm, it helps it reach your egg or eggs (think twins).
It usually appears when you are ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so this is a good time to have sex.
Make sure you have sex before the transport fluid appears. Your vagina can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation, and the more there is the better the chance of getting a good strong swimmer - your body will sift out the weak ones.
After ovulation, your body warms up (like an incubator) and there is much less fluid about. It has formed a plug in your cervix (the entrance to your womb) and no longer has any interest in storing or transporting sperm.
This is when you can have sex just for the fun of it, if you want to!
Use ovulation tests
Some women do not produce obvious fluid. This doesn't mean you can't get pregnant, but it might mean you need to invest in some ovulation prediction tests.
The cheap ones are fine, they just have more complicated instructions, and usually involve peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle.
The cheap ones are fine, they just have more complicated instructions, and usually involve peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle.
Consider a thermometer
You could also buy a thermometer - either a normal fever thermometer or a basal body temperature (BBT) thermometer which has two decimal points.
A BBT thermometer might help you notice your waking temperature dip as your cooling oestrogen peaks around ovulation.
And it might not - some women do not see this temperature dip, even though they are ovulating.
With a fever thermometer, most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation.
Look for the rise not the dip, as Jane Knight says.
Three days in a row of higher temperatures that follow six days of lower temperatures (3 over 6) indicate that ovulation has been and gone and you are no longer in your fertile window.
Twenty or more higher temperatures could mean you are pregnant and you can use a pregnancy test after 14 higher temperatures.
A BBT thermometer might help you notice your waking temperature dip as your cooling oestrogen peaks around ovulation.
And it might not - some women do not see this temperature dip, even though they are ovulating.
With a fever thermometer, most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation.
Look for the rise not the dip, as Jane Knight says.
Three days in a row of higher temperatures that follow six days of lower temperatures (3 over 6) indicate that ovulation has been and gone and you are no longer in your fertile window.
Twenty or more higher temperatures could mean you are pregnant and you can use a pregnancy test after 14 higher temperatures.
If you are breastfeeding...
If you are breastfeeding, you might struggle to get pregnant. Prolactin, the breastfeeding hormone, lowers oestrogen - the egg ripening and release hormone.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
Look after yourselves
You might not get pregnant immediately. Even if you are both wonderfully healthy, and having spectacular amounts of sex.
This can be alarming when we are told (endlessly) that sex without contraception means pregnancy, and it sometimes feels like “everyone” has fertility problems and the only solution is IVF.
Of course for some people help from a fertility clinic is the only option, and it can be reassuring to get support sooner rather than later.
But for most of us fertility is more like a dimmer switch than an on/off switch, and you might be able to turn that dial a little yourself - and make treatment more effective if you do end up at a clinic.
This does not mean making yourselves miserable with unrealistic goals.
It does mean both of you looking after yourselves a little more.
You know the drill - eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, and look after your mental health.
Both you and your partner could also get tested for sexually transmitted infections. These are a leading cause of fertility problems and not everyone gets symptoms. Getting treatment could improve your chances.
You could also read the wonderfully sympathetic and knowledgable "Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Jean Twenge. She discusses whether IVF is worth it (probably not), whether age matters (aim to complete your family by the time you're 40) and more.
This can be alarming when we are told (endlessly) that sex without contraception means pregnancy, and it sometimes feels like “everyone” has fertility problems and the only solution is IVF.
Of course for some people help from a fertility clinic is the only option, and it can be reassuring to get support sooner rather than later.
But for most of us fertility is more like a dimmer switch than an on/off switch, and you might be able to turn that dial a little yourself - and make treatment more effective if you do end up at a clinic.
This does not mean making yourselves miserable with unrealistic goals.
It does mean both of you looking after yourselves a little more.
You know the drill - eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, and look after your mental health.
Both you and your partner could also get tested for sexually transmitted infections. These are a leading cause of fertility problems and not everyone gets symptoms. Getting treatment could improve your chances.
You could also read the wonderfully sympathetic and knowledgable "Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Jean Twenge. She discusses whether IVF is worth it (probably not), whether age matters (aim to complete your family by the time you're 40) and more.
Want some support?
Many of those I work with use fertility awareness as contraception because they want to get pregnant in a year or two - and want to make sure it works as contraception, you can check out my support here.
More resources and references
- NHS guide to planning a pregnancy – the essentials
- HFEA – for anyone considering fertility treatment, or egg freezing.
- Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant by Jean Twenge
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