Condoms and other precautions
Using fertility awareness as contraception means using condoms or other precautions for at least 11 days a month.
Women are only fertile for between 6 and 9 days a cycle but those days move around, and are difficult to predict. You need buffer days to avoid pregnancy.
For some people the number of condom days is a deal breaker.
Others take it in their stride. Some couples even enjoy the varied approach to avoiding pregnancy and the chance to share contraceptive responsibility.
Here's your options, in order of effectiveness:
Women are only fertile for between 6 and 9 days a cycle but those days move around, and are difficult to predict. You need buffer days to avoid pregnancy.
For some people the number of condom days is a deal breaker.
Others take it in their stride. Some couples even enjoy the varied approach to avoiding pregnancy and the chance to share contraceptive responsibility.
Here's your options, in order of effectiveness:
- Abstinence. Avoid sex completely. You might not be in a relationship at the moment, or maybe you want to avoid sex during your fertile days for religious reasons.
- Imagination. Work it out between yourselves. I'm not a sex advice columnist. Could mean more orgasms if you're a woman.
- Condoms. A popular but underrated way to avoid pregnancy, just make sure you get the right size and know how to use them.
- Pulling out or withdrawal (Planned Parenthood). An unforgiving method with a 4% perfect use failure rate (Guttmacher). To improve effectiveness combine with a diaphragm and spermicide (see below), or condoms, and knowledge of your cycle.
- Diaphragm or cap (NHS). This fits over your cervix and stops sperm getting in. Use with spermicide, like Contragel, and leave in place for six hours after having sex.
Ideally your diaphragm or cap will be fitted (it has to be the right size) in a sexual health clinic and a member of staff will make sure you know how to insert it.
In reality, only a few staff know how to do this so check there is someone suitable who can see you before you make an appointment. A similar option is: - Caya is a "one size fits most" version of the diaphragm. One way to tell if you are in the "most" category is your height. If you're unusually tall or short it might not fit. Ideally get it checked as a sexual health clinic (see above).
Here's how to use Caya. You can get one from some sexual health clinics, and Amazon.
To improve the effectiveness of a diaphragm, cap or Caya combine with pulling out or condoms.
If possible, avoid using diaphragms around ovulation. Peak fluid and a shorter than usual cervix, could mean it's more likely to slip out of place.
Emergency contraception
Emergency contraception is an important option if your precautions fail.
You should be able to get a free "just in case" supply from your GP, nurse or sexual health clinic. Just tell them you're using condoms as contraception.
At least work out where you'd buy it if you need it. EllaOne is generally considered more effective than Levonelle (BPAS) and can be used up to five days after unprotected sex.
The most effective form of emergency contraception is the copper coil. See the BPAS website for more information. You can get it removed when you want, or leave it in and use it as contraception.
After using hormonal emergency contraception your period is either later or earlier than usual.
Use condoms or other precautions till you have used your waking temperature, fluid and/or ovulation tests to confirm ovulation has been and gone.
You should be able to get a free "just in case" supply from your GP, nurse or sexual health clinic. Just tell them you're using condoms as contraception.
At least work out where you'd buy it if you need it. EllaOne is generally considered more effective than Levonelle (BPAS) and can be used up to five days after unprotected sex.
The most effective form of emergency contraception is the copper coil. See the BPAS website for more information. You can get it removed when you want, or leave it in and use it as contraception.
After using hormonal emergency contraception your period is either later or earlier than usual.
Use condoms or other precautions till you have used your waking temperature, fluid and/or ovulation tests to confirm ovulation has been and gone.
Stress reduction
Much as I love fertility awareness as contraception, it can sometimes be stressful.
Understanding the evidence base can help you with the stress caused by lectures from well-meaning clinicians, friends or family members.
You could also think about what you would do if you had an unintended pregnancy, and discuss this with your partner (if you have one).
Many couples start to use fertility awareness because they want to get pregnant in the next year or two.
If that's you, keep an eye on yourself. You might get ambushed by a random broody, or curious, moment and "forget" to use precautions.
Others might decide that their backup plan is to have an abortion if necessary, and fortunately in most of the UK this is free, safe and legal.
This doesn't mean it's easy or pain-free but 1 in 3 women in the UK have an abortion before the age of 45 (BPAS). It's an important and hard-won option.
Understanding the evidence base can help you with the stress caused by lectures from well-meaning clinicians, friends or family members.
You could also think about what you would do if you had an unintended pregnancy, and discuss this with your partner (if you have one).
Many couples start to use fertility awareness because they want to get pregnant in the next year or two.
If that's you, keep an eye on yourself. You might get ambushed by a random broody, or curious, moment and "forget" to use precautions.
Others might decide that their backup plan is to have an abortion if necessary, and fortunately in most of the UK this is free, safe and legal.
This doesn't mean it's easy or pain-free but 1 in 3 women in the UK have an abortion before the age of 45 (BPAS). It's an important and hard-won option.
Fertility awareness forever?
You might become a massive fan of fertility awareness who would never dream of using another method of contraception. Or you might not.
Check in with yourselves every so often. Is fertility awareness right for you or is one of you getting fed up?
Unintended pregnancy, or even frequent use of emergency contraception, might mean you need to rethink your approach.
You could decide to become a more diligent user of fertility awareness, and get support, or maybe it's time to consider another kind of contraception.
I'm a big fan of fertility awareness but I don't want anyone to feel it's their only option, there are others.
Check in with yourselves every so often. Is fertility awareness right for you or is one of you getting fed up?
Unintended pregnancy, or even frequent use of emergency contraception, might mean you need to rethink your approach.
You could decide to become a more diligent user of fertility awareness, and get support, or maybe it's time to consider another kind of contraception.
I'm a big fan of fertility awareness but I don't want anyone to feel it's their only option, there are others.
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Affiliate links - this page includes some affiliate links which means I get a (very) small payment. You don't pay anything extra and I only link to products I like.