Condoms and other precautions
To use the fertility awareness method of contraception (FAM), you need to be comfortable using condoms or other precautions for at least nine days a month.
It will be more days if you have very irregular cycles, and while you are learning or waiting for your periods to return.
Here's your options, in order of effectiveness:
It will be more days if you have very irregular cycles, and while you are learning or waiting for your periods to return.
Here's your options, in order of effectiveness:
- Abstinence. Avoid sex completely. Some couples do this for religious reasons on all their fertile days, and some women learn how to use this method while they are not having sex with other people.
- Imagination. Work it out between yourselves. I'm not a sex advice columnist. Could mean more orgasms if you have a clitoris.
- Condoms. A popular but underrated way to avoid pregnancy - just make sure you get the right size, and know how to use them. You could also consider female (internal) condoms.
- Diaphragm or cap. This fits over your cervix - you have to get the right size. Your NHS sexual health clinic should be able to supply and fit. Probably only suitable for your relatively fertile (amber) days as only 16% effective even with perfect/correct use. Always use with spermicide - Contragel is a good option.
- Caya is an easier to use version of the diaphragm which fits 80 per cent of women. It might not fit if you are unusually tall or short. If your NHS clinic doesn't stock them, you can order from Amazon and ask your clinic to check that it fits.
- Pulling out (withdrawal) is not ideal but it can work well for some couples (4% perfect use). Your partner might want to use a sperm test to check if their pre-cum (if they have any) contains sperm. Some guys are leakier than others. See Planned Parenthood for more information.
Emergency contraception
Emergency contraception is an important option but it does mess up your cycle.
It means your period is either later or earlier than usual, and you have to assume you are fertile until you have had a period and confirmed ovulation.
Still, you might find it helpful and reassuring to have a "just in case" supply of emergency contraception pills.
Ella can be effective up to five days after sex but there are a few days each cycle (your maximum fertility days) - when pills are less likely to work and you should consider using an IUD (copper coil) as emergency contraception. You can have it removed when you're ready.
It means your period is either later or earlier than usual, and you have to assume you are fertile until you have had a period and confirmed ovulation.
Still, you might find it helpful and reassuring to have a "just in case" supply of emergency contraception pills.
Ella can be effective up to five days after sex but there are a few days each cycle (your maximum fertility days) - when pills are less likely to work and you should consider using an IUD (copper coil) as emergency contraception. You can have it removed when you're ready.
What would you do if you got pregnant?
I think it can be helpful to think about this, and maybe discuss it with your partner, so you can make sure you have their support.
You might decide you would have the child if you got pregnant.
Many couples start to use fertility awareness because they are planning to have a child in the next year or two, which definitely takes the pressure off when you are learning.
If that's you, keep an eye on yourself. You might get ambushed by a random broody, or curious, moment and "forget" to use precautions.
Or you might be using fertility awareness because you're prepared to have an abortion if necessary, assuming you live in a country where this is possible.
Maybe you prefer the possibility of that to the side effects and risks associated with other kinds of contraception.
Either of those approaches is fine. It's your body and your life.
But if you want fertility awareness to work really well, the NHS does recommend that you get support.
You might decide you would have the child if you got pregnant.
Many couples start to use fertility awareness because they are planning to have a child in the next year or two, which definitely takes the pressure off when you are learning.
If that's you, keep an eye on yourself. You might get ambushed by a random broody, or curious, moment and "forget" to use precautions.
Or you might be using fertility awareness because you're prepared to have an abortion if necessary, assuming you live in a country where this is possible.
Maybe you prefer the possibility of that to the side effects and risks associated with other kinds of contraception.
Either of those approaches is fine. It's your body and your life.
But if you want fertility awareness to work really well, the NHS does recommend that you get support.
Fertility awareness forever??
If you can both handle the fertility awareness routine, and your fertile days, you might become massive fans of fertility awareness who would never dream of using another method of contraception. Or you might not.
Check in with yourselves every so often. Are you still OK with using fertility awareness or is one of you getting fed up?
I'm a big fan of fertility awareness but I don't want anyone to feel it's their only option - there are others.
Find out if FAM is right for you here.
Check in with yourselves every so often. Are you still OK with using fertility awareness or is one of you getting fed up?
I'm a big fan of fertility awareness but I don't want anyone to feel it's their only option - there are others.
Find out if FAM is right for you here.
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Affiliate links - this page includes some affiliate links which means I get a (very) small payment. You don't pay anything extra and I only link to products I like.