Getting pregnant - some tips
Knowing when you're most likely to be fertile is a key part of using fertility awareness as contraception.
Flipping that knowledge and using it to help you get pregnant is one of the perks.
Fertility awareness is also great way to check your overall health, and cheaper, and less stressful, than the kind of fertility tests generally offered to women.
We endlessly hear stories about fertility problems, so it can be very reassuring to to know that all seems well.
That said, the real test is getting pregnant. Here's some low-key tips for anyone who wants to get pregnant and avoid a trip to a fertility clinic.
Flipping that knowledge and using it to help you get pregnant is one of the perks.
Fertility awareness is also great way to check your overall health, and cheaper, and less stressful, than the kind of fertility tests generally offered to women.
We endlessly hear stories about fertility problems, so it can be very reassuring to to know that all seems well.
That said, the real test is getting pregnant. Here's some low-key tips for anyone who wants to get pregnant and avoid a trip to a fertility clinic.
Think of your fertility as a dimmer switch, not an on/off switch
It's very easy to adopt a fatalistic "we're doomed" mindset. Try to resist that. There's plenty of stuff you can do.
Think of your fertility as a dimmer switch you can nudge in the right direction rather than an on/off switch.
You know how not sleeping well, drinking too much or having lots of stress (good or bad) can throw everything off in your life, and how fixing these things can make you feel better?
Well it might help to think of your fertility like that. Just three months of good behaviour - for both of you - can lead to a substantial improvement.
Three months is how long it takes for men to create new sperm. So if a guy gives up smoking, hot tubs, and tight jeans, and has plenty of sex, all his duff sperm should be gone by the time 90 days is up and only the best quality stuff will be produced. Not a bad deal
Women are a bit more complicated but we can still improve our health pretty substantially in three months.
You know the drill. Take a pregnancy supplement, or at least folic acid and vitamin D. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, exercise a reasonable amount and look after your mental health.
It's also worth both of you being checked for sexually transmitted infections. These can lurk without any obvious symptoms, and have a significant impact on fertility. The good news is that most of them can also be treated successfully.
For more advice see the NHS guide to planning a pregnancy.
Think of your fertility as a dimmer switch you can nudge in the right direction rather than an on/off switch.
You know how not sleeping well, drinking too much or having lots of stress (good or bad) can throw everything off in your life, and how fixing these things can make you feel better?
Well it might help to think of your fertility like that. Just three months of good behaviour - for both of you - can lead to a substantial improvement.
Three months is how long it takes for men to create new sperm. So if a guy gives up smoking, hot tubs, and tight jeans, and has plenty of sex, all his duff sperm should be gone by the time 90 days is up and only the best quality stuff will be produced. Not a bad deal
Women are a bit more complicated but we can still improve our health pretty substantially in three months.
You know the drill. Take a pregnancy supplement, or at least folic acid and vitamin D. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, exercise a reasonable amount and look after your mental health.
It's also worth both of you being checked for sexually transmitted infections. These can lurk without any obvious symptoms, and have a significant impact on fertility. The good news is that most of them can also be treated successfully.
For more advice see the NHS guide to planning a pregnancy.
Age - aim to complete your family by the time you're 40
The impact of your age on fertility is probably the first thing on your mind. We've all heard about women's fertility "falling off a cliff" when we reach 30 or 35.
In reality, it might not be convenient to get pregnant when we're "meant" to. We usually want a decent partner, home, and work. Our fertility is not the only thing we need to think about. Life is not that simple.
Fortunately your age might not be as big a deal as you think. Jean Twenge suggests you aim to complete your family by the time you're 40, and many women get pregnant in their early forties without any fertility treatment.
Every couple is different but NICE fertility guidance says "In the general population, more than 8 out of 10 couples where the woman is aged under 40 will get pregnant within 1 year if they have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every 2 to 3 days) and do not use contraception. More than 9 out of 10 couples will get pregnant within 2 years."
In reality, it might not be convenient to get pregnant when we're "meant" to. We usually want a decent partner, home, and work. Our fertility is not the only thing we need to think about. Life is not that simple.
Fortunately your age might not be as big a deal as you think. Jean Twenge suggests you aim to complete your family by the time you're 40, and many women get pregnant in their early forties without any fertility treatment.
Every couple is different but NICE fertility guidance says "In the general population, more than 8 out of 10 couples where the woman is aged under 40 will get pregnant within 1 year if they have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every 2 to 3 days) and do not use contraception. More than 9 out of 10 couples will get pregnant within 2 years."
Sex - have lots
Too many think women can only get pregnant during ovulation, the one or two days when the egg or eggs (think twins) are released and fertilisation can occur. The iconic moment when sperm meets egg.
In reality, women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days. And I suspect we're not just storing it, we're probably chucking out the duds and keeping the good stuff.
You could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
So have lots of sex. You could even forget about identifying your fertile time and just follow the NICE Fertility guidance above and have sex every 2 to 3 days.
But you're probably reading this because you want to know when your fertile days occur so here's some info on that...
In reality, women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days. And I suspect we're not just storing it, we're probably chucking out the duds and keeping the good stuff.
You could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
So have lots of sex. You could even forget about identifying your fertile time and just follow the NICE Fertility guidance above and have sex every 2 to 3 days.
But you're probably reading this because you want to know when your fertile days occur so here's some info on that...
Fluid - get busy when there's lots about
Cervical fluid is one of the reasons sperm can survive in women's bodies for up to 7 days.
It also helps transport sperm to the egg/s when the time comes.
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower.
Storage fluid might not be that obvious, but transport fluid usually is - there's lots of it and it's clear and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
Transport fluid usually appears when you're ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so if you notice it get busy.
You might also hear cervical fluid described as mucus, discharge or secretions. For pretty obvious reasons I avoid using those words. Men have seminal fluid and so it seems very reasonable for women to have cervical fluid.
It also helps transport sperm to the egg/s when the time comes.
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower.
Storage fluid might not be that obvious, but transport fluid usually is - there's lots of it and it's clear and stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
Transport fluid usually appears when you're ovulating or about to ovulate (release an egg), so if you notice it get busy.
You might also hear cervical fluid described as mucus, discharge or secretions. For pretty obvious reasons I avoid using those words. Men have seminal fluid and so it seems very reasonable for women to have cervical fluid.
Ovulation tests - use to predict ovulation
If your fluid isn't obvious, you could try ovulation prediction tests.
The cheap ones are fine, they just have more complicated instructions and usually involve peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle. It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to exercise that pelvic floor).
The cheap ones are fine, they just have more complicated instructions and usually involve peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle. It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to exercise that pelvic floor).
Waking temperature - can help confirm ovulation is occurring
If ovulation tests don't work (they're not always reliable), you could take your waking temperature.
This works as an ovulation confirmation test. It doesn't help you predict ovulation but helps you know if it happened, and when it happened.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation, and stay up for around 10 to 14 days.
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant.
This works as an ovulation confirmation test. It doesn't help you predict ovulation but helps you know if it happened, and when it happened.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise after ovulation, and stay up for around 10 to 14 days.
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant.
Breastfeeding - can reduce fertility
If you're breastfeeding, you might struggle to get pregnant. Prolactin, the breastfeeding hormone, lowers oestrogen which is the egg ripening and release hormone.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
Want some support?
My fertility awareness support is mainly for those who want to avoid pregnancy, and fertility clinics.
I have helped a number of clients improve their overall health, and get pregnant when they want, but I stay firmly on the low-tech side of fertility awareness.
Fertility treatment has helped many people have babies, but it can be expensive - financially, physically and emotionally. And it doesn't work as often as you might think. Visit the HFEA website for some sobering facts.
Freezing your eggs is sold as an insurance policy, and you might decide it's the best option for you, but please read Is egg freezing worth the money by Victoria Spratt before you go ahead.
If you also want support with the more high-tech side of things, including IVF and egg freezing, I suggest either Jane Knight at the Zita West Clinic, or Kate Davies at Your Fertility Journey.
I have helped a number of clients improve their overall health, and get pregnant when they want, but I stay firmly on the low-tech side of fertility awareness.
Fertility treatment has helped many people have babies, but it can be expensive - financially, physically and emotionally. And it doesn't work as often as you might think. Visit the HFEA website for some sobering facts.
Freezing your eggs is sold as an insurance policy, and you might decide it's the best option for you, but please read Is egg freezing worth the money by Victoria Spratt before you go ahead.
If you also want support with the more high-tech side of things, including IVF and egg freezing, I suggest either Jane Knight at the Zita West Clinic, or Kate Davies at Your Fertility Journey.