Getting pregnant - some tips
Knowing when you're most likely to be fertile is a key part of using fertility awareness as contraception.
Flipping that knowledge and using it to help you get pregnant is one of the perks.
Fertility awareness is also a great way to check your overall health, and cheaper, and less stressful, than the kind of fertility tests generally offered to women.
We hear endless stories about fertility problems, so it can be very reassuring to to know that all seems well.
That said, the real test is getting pregnant. Here's some basic tips for anyone who wants to get pregnant and avoid a trip to a fertility clinic.
Flipping that knowledge and using it to help you get pregnant is one of the perks.
Fertility awareness is also a great way to check your overall health, and cheaper, and less stressful, than the kind of fertility tests generally offered to women.
We hear endless stories about fertility problems, so it can be very reassuring to to know that all seems well.
That said, the real test is getting pregnant. Here's some basic tips for anyone who wants to get pregnant and avoid a trip to a fertility clinic.
Age - yes it matters, but...
The impact of your age on fertility is probably the first thing on your mind. We've all heard about women's fertility "falling off a cliff" when we reach 30 or 35.
In reality, it might not be convenient to get pregnant when we're "meant" to. We usually want a decent partner, home, and work. Our fertility is not the only thing we need to think about. Life is not that simple.
Still, it is sensible to aim to complete your your family by the age of 37.
You could follow the advice of Jean Twenge and aim for 40 instead, but remember it's not just about getting pregnant. It's also about staying pregnant, giving birth and recovering from giving birth.
All of these are easier when you're younger.
That said, KEEP USING CONTRACEPTION OVER 40. Official birth and abortion statistics show plenty of women get pregnant in their early and even mid 40s.
It's even worth using contraception if you've been through IVF. A 2023 UCL study found one in five women who’d conceived through IVF went on to conceive naturally.
In reality, it might not be convenient to get pregnant when we're "meant" to. We usually want a decent partner, home, and work. Our fertility is not the only thing we need to think about. Life is not that simple.
Still, it is sensible to aim to complete your your family by the age of 37.
You could follow the advice of Jean Twenge and aim for 40 instead, but remember it's not just about getting pregnant. It's also about staying pregnant, giving birth and recovering from giving birth.
All of these are easier when you're younger.
That said, KEEP USING CONTRACEPTION OVER 40. Official birth and abortion statistics show plenty of women get pregnant in their early and even mid 40s.
It's even worth using contraception if you've been through IVF. A 2023 UCL study found one in five women who’d conceived through IVF went on to conceive naturally.
Your overall health - think dimmer switch
There's not much you can do about your age, but there's plenty you can do about your overall health.
It's very easy to adopt a fatalistic "we're doomed" mindset, especially if friends or family have had fertility issues.
Resist that. There's plenty of stuff you can do. Small things can make a big difference.
Think of your overall health, and fertility, as a dimmer switch that you can nudge in the right direction rather than an on/off switch.
Just three months of good behaviour - for both of you - can lead to a substantial improvement.
Three months is how long it takes for men to create new sperm. So if a guy gives up smoking, saunas and steam rooms, has plenty of sex, and generally looks after himself, all his duff sperm should be gone in three months, and he'll have top quality stuff at the front of queue. Not a bad deal
Women are more complicated, but we can still improve our health pretty substantially in three months.
You know the drill. Take a pregnancy supplement, or at least folic acid and vitamin D. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, get outside, exercise a reasonable amount and look after your mental health.
It's also worth both of you being checked for sexually transmitted infections. These can lurk without any symptoms, and have a significant impact on fertility. The good news is that most of them can also be treated successfully.
For more advice see the NHS guide to planning a pregnancy.
It's very easy to adopt a fatalistic "we're doomed" mindset, especially if friends or family have had fertility issues.
Resist that. There's plenty of stuff you can do. Small things can make a big difference.
Think of your overall health, and fertility, as a dimmer switch that you can nudge in the right direction rather than an on/off switch.
Just three months of good behaviour - for both of you - can lead to a substantial improvement.
Three months is how long it takes for men to create new sperm. So if a guy gives up smoking, saunas and steam rooms, has plenty of sex, and generally looks after himself, all his duff sperm should be gone in three months, and he'll have top quality stuff at the front of queue. Not a bad deal
Women are more complicated, but we can still improve our health pretty substantially in three months.
You know the drill. Take a pregnancy supplement, or at least folic acid and vitamin D. Eat regular meals, make sure your BMI is in the normal range, give up smoking, go easy on alcohol, look after your teeth (sounds odd but can help), get enough sleep, get outside, exercise a reasonable amount and look after your mental health.
It's also worth both of you being checked for sexually transmitted infections. These can lurk without any symptoms, and have a significant impact on fertility. The good news is that most of them can also be treated successfully.
For more advice see the NHS guide to planning a pregnancy.
Sex - have lots
Too many people think women can only get pregnant from having sex during ovulation.
The one or two days when a woman's ovaries release an egg or eggs (think twins) and fertilisation can occur.
In reality, women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days.
You could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
Added to that, ovulation is not a fixed event. It changes from month to month.
You could simply have sex every 2 to 3 days, as suggested by NICE Fertility guidance which says:
"In the general population, more than 8 out of 10 couples where the woman is aged under 40 will get pregnant within 1 year if they have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every 2 to 3 days) and do not use contraception. More than 9 out of 10 couples will get pregnant within 2 years."
But you're probably reading this because you want to know when your fertile days occur so here's some info on that...
The one or two days when a woman's ovaries release an egg or eggs (think twins) and fertilisation can occur.
In reality, women are made to get pregnant - not that we have to, but you know what I mean.
We can store sperm for up to seven days before ovulation. Yes, seven days.
You could have sex on Saturday and get pregnant while you're brushing your teeth on Friday. Our bodies are amazing.
Added to that, ovulation is not a fixed event. It changes from month to month.
You could simply have sex every 2 to 3 days, as suggested by NICE Fertility guidance which says:
"In the general population, more than 8 out of 10 couples where the woman is aged under 40 will get pregnant within 1 year if they have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every 2 to 3 days) and do not use contraception. More than 9 out of 10 couples will get pregnant within 2 years."
But you're probably reading this because you want to know when your fertile days occur so here's some info on that...
Especially when there's fluid about
Cervical fluid is one of the reasons sperm can survive in women's bodies for up to 7 days. It also helps transport sperm to the egg/s when the time comes.
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower. The fluid that helps sperm survive might not be that obvious, but it's usually easy to notice the fluid associated with ovulation, and sperm transport. There's lots of it and it's clear and very stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
[You might hear cervical fluid described as mucus, discharge or secretions. I prefer the word fluid. Men have seminal fluid, not seminal discharge, and so it seems reasonable for women to have cervical fluid.]
Notice it when you use the bathroom, or in the shower. The fluid that helps sperm survive might not be that obvious, but it's usually easy to notice the fluid associated with ovulation, and sperm transport. There's lots of it and it's clear and very stretchy, a bit like raw egg white.
[You might hear cervical fluid described as mucus, discharge or secretions. I prefer the word fluid. Men have seminal fluid, not seminal discharge, and so it seems reasonable for women to have cervical fluid.]
Ovulation prediction tests might help
If your fluid isn't obvious, or you're curious, you could try ovulation prediction tests.
These are urine tests that help you identify the hormone that triggers ovulation - luteinizing hormone or LH.
The cheap ones are fine, so long as you can handle the instructions, and peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle.
It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to exercise that pelvic floor).
Remember these tests predict ovulation, so carry on having sex for at least a couple of days after you see a positive test.
These are urine tests that help you identify the hormone that triggers ovulation - luteinizing hormone or LH.
The cheap ones are fine, so long as you can handle the instructions, and peeing in a pot, rather than straight on the stick.
Start testing from the day the test recommends and base this on your shortest cycle length, not your average cycle.
It's usually best to test in the early evening, after you've not peed for a few hours (time to exercise that pelvic floor).
Remember these tests predict ovulation, so carry on having sex for at least a couple of days after you see a positive test.
Waking temperature - can help confirm ovulation has been and gone
Ovulation is not a fixed event, it changes from month to month.
Your waking temperature can't help you predict ovulation but it can help you estimate the earliest time it is likely to happen, and confirm that it has been and gone.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise by around 0.2 degrees Celsius after ovulation, and stay up for around 10 to 16 days.
About one in five women ovulate just after their temperature goes up, so carry on having sex for a couple of days after you see your temperature rise.
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant.
Once you have enough data from your waking temperature to confirm you're probably ovulating, you can choose to stop taking it.
Some women like to continue to take it, especially as ovulation varies from cycle to cycle, but others find it stressful. It's up to you.
Your waking temperature can't help you predict ovulation but it can help you estimate the earliest time it is likely to happen, and confirm that it has been and gone.
Most women who are ovulating will see their waking temperature rise by around 0.2 degrees Celsius after ovulation, and stay up for around 10 to 16 days.
About one in five women ovulate just after their temperature goes up, so carry on having sex for a couple of days after you see your temperature rise.
Your temperature usually drops when your period is due. If it stays high you could be pregnant.
Once you have enough data from your waking temperature to confirm you're probably ovulating, you can choose to stop taking it.
Some women like to continue to take it, especially as ovulation varies from cycle to cycle, but others find it stressful. It's up to you.
Breastfeeding - can reduce fertility
If you're breastfeeding, you might struggle to get pregnant. Prolactin, the breastfeeding hormone, lowers oestrogen which is the egg ripening and release hormone.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
For more about the practical and emotional side of reducing feeds read this blog from Emma Pickett.
My support
My fertility awareness support is mainly for those who want to avoid pregnancy, and fertility clinics.
I'm not a doctor, and I'm not connected to any fertility clinics, but my low-tech support has helped a number of clients improve their overall health, and get pregnant when they want.
For details about prices and how to book a one-off 30 minute Zoom call visit my support page.
I'm not a doctor, and I'm not connected to any fertility clinics, but my low-tech support has helped a number of clients improve their overall health, and get pregnant when they want.
For details about prices and how to book a one-off 30 minute Zoom call visit my support page.
Fertility clinics, IVF, egg freezing and more
Fertility clinics have helped many women have babies, but it can be expensive - financially, physically and emotionally. And it doesn't work as often as you might think. Visit the HFEA website for some sobering facts.
Freezing your eggs is sold as an insurance policy, but please read Is egg freezing worth the money by Victoria Spratt before you go ahead.
If you want both low-tech and high-tech support, I suggest Kate Davies at Your Fertility Journey.
Freezing your eggs is sold as an insurance policy, but please read Is egg freezing worth the money by Victoria Spratt before you go ahead.
If you want both low-tech and high-tech support, I suggest Kate Davies at Your Fertility Journey.